The Official Kirby Cafe wants you to eat Waddle Dee’s Fried Balls

Among the various treats on offer Kirby Cafe Locations in Japan, one that really stands out is a site known as Waddle Dee’s fried balls. Instead of making a joke, I’ll just let this sit with you for a while.

Nintendo opened the first Kirby Café in Osaka, Japan in 2016, and since then various locations have opened and closed according to the company’s whims and complications from the pandemic. I haven’t kept up with the menu changes over the years, but when I saw an awesome “Deez Nuts” joke on Twitter this morning (remember I am only 12 years old), I couldn’t help but do some digging.

As far as I can tell this is a real dish that has been available in Kirby Café restaurants since late 2019 and as the photo shows it is referred to as Waddle Dee’s fried balls in English on the menu. But an accurate translation according to that kirby wikiis the much more innocent sounding Waddle Dee’s Lightly Hand-Rolled Pikora.

Additionally, the menu description notes that they’re made from little balls of pizza dough, rather than the junk of a video game character, which is quite a relief. Waddle Dee’s fried balls also come with Cajun seasoning and maple syrup for dipping if you’d like.

The lingering question, at least in my mind, is why they’re even called Waddle Dee’s Fried Balls.

The Kirby Café, so the story goes, was created when Kirby and a horde of Waddle Dees decided to open a restaurant. Being a bunch of little fools, of course they didn’t know how to cook anything, so they frequently checked in kirby Serial enemy Chef Kawasaki to prepare the meal. Waddle Dees help roll out the pizza dough, but that’s hardly a reason to name the whole dish after them.

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My best guess is that the division of labor goes something like this: Chef Kawasaki prepares all the meals, Waddle Dees pulls in all the supplies, and Kirby just hangs out and takes orders while he eats what he wants since his name is on the Building. This chef’s hat is apparently just for show, but Kirby is so cute (and powerful) that everyone lets him do what he wants.

Anyway, it just took me 378 words to explain all this Kirby Cafe stuff because I think the word “balls” is inherently funny. I hope you took something away from it because I certainly did.