Style Invitational Week 1495: Add-a-letter Neologisms

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It’s been a damn week, tough for a lot of previous damn weeks. So relax, cheer on the fireworks, and enjoy this week’s neologisms: There’s no new contest this week – our first skipped contest since August 2019 – so the Empress can take a week off in four weeks if the results would have walked. (But it’s not even a vacation from Loserdom: You and the Royal Consort will join a dozen or more Style Invitational dudes on a trip to Niagara Falls, Ontario; longtime loser Kyle Hendrickson has had a string of ” Loserfest” trips arranged. and this is the first post-pandemic.) So in the last week of July the invite will have plenty of fresh ink from recent competitions.

The ‘Deftinitions’ heading for this week’s results is by Jon Gearhart; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable mention subheading.

The style talk: This week’s Empress online column (published late Thursday, June 30) discusses this week’s findings – what worked and what didn’t. See it at wapo.st/conv1495.

Definitions: Add-a-letter neologisms from week 1491 onwards

In the week 1491 neologism contest, the Empress challenged the losing community to pick a word, name, or phrase from A to E, then add a letter—or the same letter more than once—and define the result.

Chompulsion: That deep urge you have to fight while the dentist pokes you in the mouth. (Joanne Free, Clifton, Virginia)

adultery: Sneaking off to have extramarital sex and comparing Spelling Bee lists. (Lee Graham, Reston, VA)

and the Alligator Backhand Scratch:

Bad Moron Rising: “I see the bad idiot rising / I see trouble on the way / I see democracy dying / If one day he comes back.” (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

And the winner of the clowning achievement:

Choward: Someone who is afraid to try new food. Not to be confused with a chowhard, someone who eats everything. (Bird Waring, Larchmont, New York)

Fast Movers: Honorable Mentions

carcophony: “Are we already there?” “It’s my turn to sit in front!” “Are we already there?” “I need to go to the toilet! “She pushed me!” “Are we there yet?” “He didn’t, he pushed me first!” “Are we already there?” (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Hospitality: What I feel these days every time I fill up my tank. (Michael Stein, Arlington, Virginia)

Endunciation: Expressing ignorance through pronunciation, e.g. B. “Gazpacho Police”, “Peach Tree Court”. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)

adipose tissue: Phrase. Hemingway’s writing showed not an ounce of fat. (John Bradley, St. Louis, a first-time offender)

Abortionist: One who uses personal prejudice to stage a miscarriage of justice. (Byron Miller, Cobble Hill, BC)

abide: Waiting patiently for the other party to come to the table in good faith. (Donald Norum, Charlottesville, Virginia)

Gut America: Full service proctology clinic. “Our colonoscopies are just right for you!” (Kevin Tingley, Vienna, Virginia)

Children of Corny: Children suffering from dad jokes. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia)

Success: Surround yourself with “the best people”. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Acronym: So many divorce settlements. (Karen Golden, Prince Frederick, Md.)

Adrian Monkee: In The Case of the Believer, Adrian joins the mad band with his clarinet as he tries to decipher rock and the roll. (Joanne free)

Afictionado: A die-hard QAnon devotee. (Lee Graham)

Is not arctic: The South Pole, in brief. (Bruce Carlson, Alexandria, Virginia)

Amazon: The euphoria of an online shopper. “Sorry I bought all that Wizards stuff dear – I was at the Amazone.” (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Md.)

Bald, Bald Leroy Brown: Not comparable to the old King Kong in the hair department. (Jesse Frankovich)

apoplectic: So angry you lose your… temper. (Frank Mann, Washington)

Axel Killer: A particularly inept figure skater. (Frank Mullen III, Aledo, Illinois)

Aromageddon: Catastrophic event that occurs when you enter your teenager’s room. (Duncan Stevens)

Borik: “Let’s have a party here at 10 Downing Street! Don’t say anything!” (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, Virginia)

Spacious: Amazingly reckless, at least for his admirers: “We had Pete dangling by his legs in front of a 10-story window! It was brodacious!” (Pam Shermeyer, Village of Lathrup, Mich.)

Bullshift: Tucker Carlson’s 7-8 p.m. show on Fox News. (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Barkeeper: Your new job title if you don’t take down patrons who’ve had too much to drink. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Maryland)

Bassault: “The car’s stereo was so loud that the blare within a block was a bassault on everyone’s ears.” (Pam Shermeyer)

Bawdminton: The shuttlecock has a different function in this party version. (Diane Lucitt, Ellicott City, Maryland)

Benevolent: Disruptive for a good cause. “His benevolent fit of sneezing was a solid reason to leave the staff meeting.” (Pam Shermeyer)

Biggots: people who discriminate against tall and tall people; They are primarily drawn to the aviation industry, however some work in clothing retail. (Duncan Stevens)

bubble ball: Nine innings, four hours, 79 crotch scrapes. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines; Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md.)

Selection Committee: The GOP’s plan for who will decide the winner of the 2024 presidential election.” (Chris Doyle, Denton, Texas)

Coffee: If there’s no time for dinner between work and Back to School Night, there’s a meal at the Toyota Carfé. (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Maryland)

Chainslaw Massacre: A series of cases of food poisoning from spoiled supermarket salads. (Tom Quinn, Herndon, Virginia, a first time offender)

Chat on a hot tin roof: “OMG that tin roof is hot!” “LOL I know right?” (Jesse Frankovich)

Korvid-19: Five birds less than a cake. (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Maryland)

craziness: Ability to accept total nonsense. “The horniness of QAnon members is immeasurable.” (Ann Martin, Brentwood, Maryland)

customer > Cup masher: A naughty Starbucks customer who throws a tanty when he mistakenly serves a latte instead of a mocha. (Karen Lambert)

love tremor: A violent shudder after seeing your low balance. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Deshpotic: What Daffy Duck will be if we don’t stop his rampant thirst for power. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Diet hard: In this sequel, Detective McClane decides to change his lifestyle after getting stuck in an air vent. (Jesse Frankovich)

Diss Member: “Did you just come out of a cold pool or something? For real? That’s it?” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Virginia)

Econ Artists: “Absolutely, these tax cuts will pay off!” (Neil Kurland)

Upset: A parent’s description of taking the two preschoolers to the grocery store. “Ethan, put all those cans back! Molly, what did I just tell you about screaming?” (Pam Shermeyer)

Exaggerate: Exaggerate the need for sex. “But if I can’t, I’ll turn blue…” (Wendy Shang, Falls Church, Virginia)

Hopefully: Friendly, up to a point. (Sarah Walsch)

He Mancipation: The effeminate, emasculated American male’s return to his birthright of eating red meat, packing guns, and pinching his butt. (Jonathan Jensen)

Jell-O: The risk of associating a brand closely with Bill Cosby. (Kevin Dopart, on vacation in Naxos, Greece)

Karmadillo: Someone destined never to make it all the way across the street. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama)

Ridiculous: Outrageously exaggerated. “Isn’t ‘This Generation’s Olivier’ a bit ridiculous for Taylor Lautner?” (Frank Osen, Pasadena, California)

Malice’s Restaurant: They won’t let you have a single thing you want. (Ann Martin)

Evergreen: A landscape shrub that always has a beautiful hue of burnt matchstick. (Lawrence McGuire)

deafpsie: The cause of death was given as “heart stopped beating”. (Frank Osen)

Texorcist: If your state is obsessed with Cruz and Abbott, who are you going to call? (FrankMan)

The Blight Brigade: The NIH’s 600-physician pandemic team. (Allan Zackowitz, Brookeville, MD)

Capital None: A bank that puts nothing in your pocket. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Virginia)

Cheeriots: Favorite breakfast of the Oat Keepers. (Jonathan Jensen)

BasketballLOL: What the Wizards Play. (Mark Raffman)

far fact: Uncomfortable, unseen evidence of a rough event, especially in an elevator. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.)

And last: Agonym: This short Style Invitational entry that’s a sure-fire winner if you just get the wording right, but maybe if you change that – no, that would be too abstruse, it needs to be more obvious, but – hey, how about – no, you’ve already tried that, so… (Frank Mullen III, Aledo, Illinois, whose 49 inkblots are from 2002)

With no fine print blah blah this week’s new contest, we have room for a fine parody of our current song contest. See the rest below wapo.st/invite1494.

to If only I had a brain,” sung by Vladimir Putin

I delete every euro border
To create a new world order,
Where alone I will reign.
Then the troops I’m stacking inland
Will start attacking Finland
As soon as I subdue Ukraine.

First I have to show Zelensky
That there is no common sense
To save his domain.
I’ll leave him a mess
New bodies in Odessa
All resistance is in vain!

Oh I’ve got nukes galore
As many as never before.
I could fight a war like never before
But here’s a fear I can’t ignore:

Russian poets could crash
More odes to me than to Lenin
While the obit writers declare:
“Putin should have been suspicious
So drink delicious black tea,
But he had no brain!” (Chris Doyle)

Still ongoing – deadline Tuesday evening, July 5th: Our fun poem contest using words from this year’s National Spelling Bee. See wapo.st/invite1494.

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2022/06/30/style-invitational-1495-neologisms/ Style Invitational Week 1495: Add-a-letter Neologisms

Chris Estrada

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