“Scandal” actress Kerry Washington opens up about her mental health amid her “toxic” eating disorder and even admits she’s thought about ending her life.
Kerry Washington admits she thought about ending her life
Kerry Washington interviewed “Good Morning America’s” Robin Roberts for a “20/20” special airing Thursday. The actress spoke about how her eating disorder made her consider suicide and “tried to destroy myself.”
“I could sense that the abuse was a way to really hurt me, like I didn’t want to be here,” she told Roberts in a preview of the “20/20” special that aired on “Good Morning.” America” Thursday. “It scared me that I didn’t want to be here because I was in so much pain.”
When Roberts asked her if she was thinking about suicide, Washington replied, “Yes. Yes…The behavior consisted of tiny little acts of trying to destroy myself.”
– Good Morning America (@GMA) September 21, 2023
Washington further admitted that she had been praying for her to get better. “The first thing that brought me to my knees – like the first time I got on my knees and prayed to a power greater than myself to say, ‘I can’t do this, I need some help’ – was the eating disorder,” she told Roberts.
“I was good at playing “perfect.” I was good at control. I could party all night and drink and smoke and have sex and still show up and get good grades,” the actress continued. “I knew how to deal with it; I was so productive and the food blew me away. The body dysmorphia, the body hatred, that was out of my control and really led to me feeling like, “I need help for someone or something bigger than me because I’m in trouble and I don’t know how to do it.” should.'” live with it.'”
Washington’s Ongoing Struggles
The Little Fires Everywhere actress previously opened up about her eating disorder in an interview with beingsShe admitted she felt “shame” about it.
“I ate anything and everything…sometimes until I passed out,” she told the magazine in 2020. “But because I had this personality that was driven to perfectionism, I would tell people that I was in the library, but instead go to the gym and work out for hours. Keeping my behavior secret was painful and isolating. There was a lot of guilt and a lot of shame.”
Washington said she started therapy, which helped her cope.
“Learning to love myself and my body is a lifelong process,” she said. “But I definitely don’t fight like I used to. Therapy made me realize that it might be okay for me to express my feelings. Instead of literally stuffing them with food, maybe it’s okay for me to express myself.”
Kerry Washington is doing much better
Luckily, the “Scandal” actress is doing better, although she still has to keep herself under control and be aware of her disorder.
“I wouldn’t say I’ve never had anything to do with food, it’s just completely different now,” she admitted in the “20/20” preview. “It’s not the extreme. There are no suicidal thoughts, I’m not there anymore. But I know, “Oh, I’m really into this chocolate, this is good information for me.” The floor has become much higher, and a little discomfort is enough for me to know that this is an opportunity to check myself . But it definitely looks a lot healthier. It is much easier. It’s a lot more sensible than it used to be.”