How to start your miniature Jeff Goldblum collection

This year’s Gen Con was chock-full of new games, with estimates as high as 560. We’ve covered some of the trends we’ve seen, including a wave of roll-and-write games and a chaotic wave of new party games. But there was another unusual item at the country’s largest tabletop gaming convention: a tiny, beautiful plastic Jeff Goldblum.

Unsurpassedthe incredibly popular skirmish game that pits Hollywood heroes against historical heroes has recently released its latest series of Jurassic Park-inspired villains. Unrivaled Jurassic Park: Dr. Saddler vs. T. Rex is currently out of stock. The $30 game comes with a miniature Ellie Sattler and a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex. Ellie also gets a sidekick – a tiny plastic tag with a picture of Dr. Ian Malcom, a two-dimensional object utterly unable to hold its raw sexual energy.

To rectify this situation, Restoration Games ordered 10,000 plastic miniatures from Ian Malcom, complete with a delicate ink wash, which it made available with pre-orders. Speaking to Polygon at the convention, team members said the Minis sold out before they could even set aside anything for themselves. A handful were available at their booth, but they were completely shocked by the demand for the miniature. Another batch is already on the way.

But this isn’t the only Jeff Goldblum gaming miniature currently in production. Strata Miniatures is working on a full line of figures based on the popular Dark Dice game series. The crowdfunding campaign goes live in October. Among them is the powerful elven wizard named Balmur – portrayed by none other than Jeff Goldblum. Early renderings of his miniature show him in a powerful pose, with his arm raised to cast a spell and a hawkish grin on his face. The finished miniature – painted by David Fisk, better known online as Dungeons and dry gins – Contains lots of freehand work, including a beautiful tattoo.

Photo: Strata Miniatures

Photo: Strata Miniatures

“The amazing sculpture embodies not only his chiseled good looks but also his tongue-in-cheek personality,” Fisk told Polygon on Twitter. “Seriously, I really wanted to honor his heritage and made a custom skin tone blend just for him. Most miniature paint manufacturers’ “skin tones” are tailored for Caucasian coloring, so this was an interesting challenge.

The sad fact is that there are currently no tabletop compatible Jeff Goldblum miniatures on the market. But I am confident that this will be resolved soon because as we all know, life finds a way. In the meantime, dr. Ian Malcolm lounging on my desk until he becomes the presenter of Warhammer TV Louise Sudden gets me a proper tutorial on how to paint those rock hard shiny abs.