FIFA announces series of bullshit crypto and metaverse games

earlier this year, EA Sports and FIFA ended a 30-year partnership, largely because the irrevocably corrupt sports federation had begun making all sorts of wild claims for the rights to their name. EA walked away and FIFA tried to pretend everything was going to be fine. It’s clearly not okay.

As we reported at the time:

Corresponding reported last October, negotiations between EA and FIFA had become chaotic. EA wanted to extend the license to areas like NFTs, while FIFA wanted to retain more control to be able to work with other companies. In the end, it seems, EA wasn’t interested in paying the $1 billion price tag that was reportedly being asked to extend the existing exclusivity deal.

FIFA made t very quicklyHose partnerships with “other companies” who have already emerged in an embarrassing Roblox includebut things got so much worse earlier today when FIFA issued a press release titled “FIFA unveils a range of new web 3.0 games ahead of FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022”.

The announcement, which opens with promises it’s about esports but is actually about selling horrible crypto/metaverse shit, says four more FIFA World Cup games are coming alongside the FIFA World Cup Roblox one, and all will feature some kind of nightmarish Web 3.0 integration.

comes first AI League: FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Editiona “4v4 casual soccer game played between AI-controlled characters, with player inputs in fun and tactical moments”. This is a common theme in web 3.0 games, because it’s much easier to design and implement. It also takes away any fun from the game, another hallmark of Web 3.0 titles.

The second is FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 at the Upland Metaverse. “Upland is the largest blockchain-based metaverse mapped to the real world,” the publication states, “where players can buy and sell virtual properties. Now they can collect official FIFA World Cup digital content, including iconic video highlights from the tournament.” I feel like March 2021.

The third, Matchday Challenge: FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 Edition“targets the emotional highs of soccer fandom through a highly engaging social prediction game based on soccer cards where the fun isn’t just in ‘getting it right’, but in being the best among your friends.”

The fourth is FIFA World Cup Qatar 2022 on Phygtl. We spent a little time debating how that would be pronounced before I finally settled on “Fig-Tull”. It doesn’t even sound like a game, more like a blockchain fever dream:

Phygtl, a mobile fan engagement application that takes fandom to a new dimension. An immersive experience where fans band together to create the world’s first fan-generated digital reward. Fans can expand a Golden Globe soccer ball from the palm of their hand into their real-world environment, own a limited fragment of it to pin and immortalize their hand-picked FIFA World Cup images and video moments. A digital representation of eternal fandom.

It’s hard to figure out what’s the funniest thing out of all these announcements, from the Months from the time the bubble burst to the fact that nobody who puts them up has any interest in actual video game design, but still got their bag from FIFA.

I think the winner, however, is the fact that FIFA is fidgeting like that, not knowing what the hell they’re doing, nearly makes you feel bad for EA Sports. I wonder how many years they’ve had to sit in a boardroom with idiots from FIFA to put up that kind of crap? I’m sure the answer is “too many” given their acrimonious split.