An English journalist has been criticized after complaining about his time in Australia, taking a swipe at the fact people seemed to find him less attractive Down Under.
Jack Kessler’s article for the Evening Standard was titled “I thought I loved Australia – until I spent over two weeks there.”
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In it he complains that in London he’s a “solid seven” because of his looks, but in Australia everyone has such a “beachworthy body” that he was only rated a five.
“Everybody’s ready for a beach body so as a solid seven in London I got downgraded to a five, five and a half on a good day (which never happened thanks to my sun hat),” he wrote.
“I took my shirt off by the pool and craved to reassure the locals that I’m actually in good shape for London.”
His criticism did not stop there.
He went on to complain about not being able to find coffee after 3:30pm, suggesting that every Australian man’s wardrobe is thongs and shorts, noting that the “C-word” is basically a “cost word” is.
Kessler said Australia is “a time machine, if not back to the womb then maybe the mid-noughties, only with Uber”.
After living for a week on Sydney’s “bourgeois east coast with harbor views and sea breezes,” he began to “feel sorry for the residents of the oppressive western suburbs.”
Until he couldn’t find 24-7 coffee it seems, or until his straps started giving him ugly blisters.
“And after a while it felt weird living in a country that didn’t have an independent nuclear deterrent,” he added.
He then said that after two weeks Sydney started to “feel small” and he wondered if maybe he should go to New Zealand.
“My theory is that the country is just too beautiful to live in,” he said, rather paradoxically, right after noticing the things he didn’t like about living here.
“Aussies suffer from the less spotted high-income trap.
“I was ready to come home.”
After the article was published, Aussies – and some non-Aussies – fiercely defended the country Down Under, scoffing at Kessler’s criticism and pointing out that London does not top the list of the world’s most liveable cities.
“Pasty Englishman remains in Sydney’s most expensive beachside suburbs and develops an insecurity complex, possibly caused by a lack of coffee after 3pm and fears of a one-sided nuclear war,” one person joked.
“To be honest, I often judge my vacation destinations by their independent nuclear deterrent offerings,” quipped another.
A Londoner said they moved to Australia in 2007 and it was “the best thing ever”.
“The lovely clean fresh air, sea views and sandy beaches couldn’t stand up to the gloom or thick air of the London Underground,” remarked another.
But it seems the line that most people struggled with was Kessler’s bold claim that he was definitely “a 7” back in the UK.
Clearly struck by criticism of Australia, one person wrote: “I think the funniest of the many incredibly ridiculous statements this guy makes in this article is that he thinks he’s a 7 in London (or indeed anywhere!) “
This didn’t slip through the net, Kessler retweeted it.
“Commenters on the Evening Standard Facebook page are adamant that I am not a ‘seven’ in any time zone,” he wrote.
“Brutal thing, that.”
https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/brit-tourist-who-describes-his-looks-as-a-solid-7-slammed-over-complaint-about-australia-c-9601629 A British tourist who describes his looks as a “solid 7” has hit out over a complaint about Australia