3 ridiculous Dan Campbell quotes from Lions training camp already

Those Dan Campbell quotes from Detroit Lions training camp are so fucking amazing, man.

For Soundbite purposes only, HBO made a fantastic decision by using Motor City Dan Campbell and his Detroit Lions this season from Hard hitsMan.

No kneecaps are safe there NFL preseason, man. As the Lions try to build a surprisingly decent 3-13-1 season for their high standards, all eyes are on their one-of-a-kind sophomore head coach, man. Campbell has quickly emerged as the best quote for a football field since the legendary John McKay said everything he wanted as Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach, man.

His lions “are bloody starving… so the hyenas better get out of the way,” man.

When it comes to receiver Josh Reynolds, “he’s raunchy, man.” Whether he’s the praying mantis, the spider of death, or the damn snake, this wideout has more nicknames than Shaq, man.

Tyler Dunne may “have no idea what ‘we’ll stand still as long as it takes to bury you’ means, but damn it’s beautiful, man.

Why be the myth or the legend when you can be the man like Dan Fricking Campbell, man?

Dan Campbell becomes a fucking Hard Knocks legend in a nanosecond, man

We’re only weeks away from screaming two Doubleshot Ventis out of our collective tear ducts on the podium (Doosh, Doosh!), but what if those ain’t your sad old Lions, man? These men could have the heart of a lion, the eye of a tiger, or some other cliched analogy to a wild big cat, a human. Assuming Jared Goff learned where the sun goes, they could be a darn dare, man!

Overall, Detroit should be something of a third-place team in the NFC North this season, man. Even though star Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is into tool, witchcraft and the purge these days, it’s hard to imagine the Lions being any better than the Packers right now, man. Probably not the Minnesota Vikings either, but the Chicago Bears just suck, man.

Overall, there’s a lot of good things to say about this Lions team, man. Not only did they pick up Aidan Hutchinson from nearby Khaki country, they fought their way through Jim Harbaugh’s awkwardness to “steal,” man, Jameson Williams from the Minnesota Vikings. How sure are we that Kwesi Adofo-Mensah knows what he’s doing, man? Watch your kneecaps man!

How can you not want to run through a barbed wire fence for Motor City Dan Campbell, man?